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Season 1, Episode 9 - Jacky. [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Call me something. If I like it, I'll keep it.

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Season 1, Episode 9 [Oct. 13th, 2010|11:48 am]
Call me something. If I like it, I'll keep it.
[Current Mood |discontentdiscontent]


Q is back! Probably going to be about him BAWWing over Picard.

YES TROI'S GONE THIS EPISODE IS ALREADY GOOD
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You guys sure that after 3 hours there will still be miners alive?
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FUCKING Q (LOL DATA KNOWS)
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Picard: Damnit, Q, I don't have time for you!
Q *all emotional*: When will you EVER have time?
Picard: NEVER
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Oh fuck yeah, action hero Worf and Tasha!
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Picard: Q, SERIOUSLY, PEOPLE ARE DYING, MOVE
Q: Ah, but I can help you realize your most impossible dreams! Like having sex with me
Picard: NONE OF MY DREAMS INVOLVE YOU
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Picard: As intriguing as hanging out with your sounds, which is not at all, I have an urgent mission. Maybe we can play later.
Q: Oh NO, you can forget your mission! I take precedence!
Picard: The fuck you do!
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Poor Q wants Picard's love attention so bad. He's like Wesley on drugs.
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LOL Picard's "FML" look as Q appears.
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Picard: You're not a Starfleet Admiral, Q.
Q: I'm also not a space serpent, but you accepted me as that.
Picard: ...no, not really.
Data: *cough* LOSER *cough*
Q *trying to remain cool*
Riker: Oh, look who's back to play and try to get some attention from the Captain.
Q: Oh, Riker. I remember you, my rival. JEAN-LUC LIKES ME MORE
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LOL Q
Q: Ah, STFU, serious business Riker, your species is always dying. (turns back to Picard) So there's this great space Thai place and I was wondering--
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Oh, Q. That was a terrible joke about Worf. You're not winning Picard's heart today, my friend.
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Q doesn't even know what Picard's saying.
Picard: You said blah blah impossible dreams blah offer us?
Q *nodding while thinking*: My God, the play of light on his magnificent bare head is captivating.
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Q: Why don't you wanna be with me trust me?
Picard: Um, that whole threatening to kill us while keeping us from our mission thing?
Q: I was just kidding.
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Q certainly knows how to piss Picard off.
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LOL Data and Geordi. Hella casual with arms slung over their monitors.
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Say "game" one more time, Q. Please. I'm sure the crew'll love it.
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OH GOD WHAT IS Q'S OFFER TO RIKER
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Q: Ok, so here's the game.
*Everyone disappears but Picard*
Picard: DAMNIT I HATE THE FOREVER ALONE GAME
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Riker's looking forward to banging some illusions of people.
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Aw, tiny Data. GO AWAY, RIKER
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Q's cute.
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LOL Q hitting on Riker and Riker's just like, "Please focus, dude."
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LOL Data's "THE FUCK I'M AN ANDROID WHY'D YOU GIVE ME A DRINK DUMBASS" expression.
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Worf you are amazing. I want to be Worf and Ro Laren's baby.
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OH SNAP RIKER CLASSILY INSULTING Q probably the first classy thing he's done aside from you know what nevermind
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Q: Shall it be a test of strength? Meaningless, since you have none.
Data (calmly): Would you care to arm wrestle me then, Mr. Q?
Q: ...um...maybe...that is...it would be beneath me.
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Q YOU GONE FUCKED UP NOW MAGIC-ING TASHA AWAY. Data, Riker, and Worf are gonna BEAT YOOOOOOU
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Oh MAN Data's pissed.
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WHAT THE FUCK. That malfunctioning Captain's log voice is terrifying.
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Oh GOOD. When I heard Tasha's voice I thought it was Troi and I was like FUCK FUCK FUCK EPISODE RUINED
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Oh, Tasha bb, don't cry! :(
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Aw, Comfort Grandpa. <3
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LOLOL TASHA. Your tears were a trap, weren't they?
Tasha: Oh baby, if you weren't a Captain...
Picard *raises an intrigued eyebrow*
Cockblocking Q: Oh I see how it is! Is it because she has boobs and a baby maker? I COULD BE LIKE THAT TOO IF YOU WOULD JUST GIVE ME A CHANCE PICARD
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Q: Penalty over.
Tasha *arms around Picard*: I'm good right here.
Q: I SAID IT WAS OVER SKANK *teleports her back to planet*
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LOL just realized Q is dressed as a French Marshal and Picard is French. Q YOU CRAFTY
Picard: Ridiculous!
Well, not that crafty, I guess.
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Q I swear to fuck Picard isn't interested just move on to Riker or Tasha or both and then move on with your life. SAD BUT TRUE
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Q ISN'T GOING TO GIVE RIKER Q-POWERS IS HE OH NO
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Picard: Oh, whew, I was worried. Riker'll totally beat you, though.
Q: ARE YOU ENGAGED TO THAT MAN OR SOMETHING WHY DO YOU LOVE HIM SO MUCH INSTEAD OF ME
Picard: Wouldn't you like to know.
Q: *on the edge of a tantrum*: I WILL WIN AND YOU WILL CRY AND BE MY BRIDE
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Q leaves after the bet was made to go cry to Barclay.
Q *sobbing in turbolift*: OMG PICARD SAID HE NEVER WANTS TO SEE ME EVER! LIKE NEVER EVER! WHY IS HE SO HEARTLESS I HAVE FEELINGS FOR HIM DAMNIT
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Worf, come on, they're French soldiers. As soon as they see you they're going to run screaming or surrender.
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WAIT WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE SOLDIER'S FACE
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Good idea, Worf, I'd run, too.
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Picard: Q, you seem to have some need for humans.
Q *trying to be coy and failing*: Only you Just concern. And even then I don't even care if this one bald guy doesn't like me 'cause I don't like him
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Oh crap, Q's reading Picard's Shakespeare.
Q: Romeo and Juliet is such trash.
Picard *trying not to erupt into a volcanic rage* At least it's not UGLY, like YOU!
Q *eyes fill with tears*: I HATE YOU *throws book on floor and runs away crying*
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Q don't even joke, Picard is the Shakespeare master.
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Q, seriously, you have just about finished digging and sealing your own grave. You just don't get into a discussion of Shakespeare with Picard. He will win. ALWAYS. But it's adorable that Q is trying SO HARD to impress/bond/flirt with Picard.
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LOL Picard's "Boy you are em-BAR-assing yourself" look as Q recites.
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LOL Q trying not to cry as Picard quotes Hamlet furiously at him.
Q: THINK YOU'RE SO SMART! YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE ANY HAIR!
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LOL Q being all pissy. I never want these 2 to stop interacting. EVER
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Aww, Worf. He was probably ready to fight a whole army by himself.
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OH FUCK Q TURNED INTO DATA AND IS 100% SEXIER
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Racist-ass pig things shooting at Geordi first.
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DAMN GEORDI YOU A ACTION HERO
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OH GOD RIKER HAS Q POWERS GOODBYE EVERYONE'S VIRGINITY EVER
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Poor Data. Returned with his back to the enemy.
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LOL Riker's "I could get used to this!" expression after teleporting everyone.
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Aw, Tasha's concern for Riker.
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LOL Data. Unable to identify what the pig things were so he just offers to write about it. Picard is not amused.
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Tasha: Forget Data, we need to find RIKER!
Data: OH SURE, FORGET DATA, NOT LIKE HE MATTERS, RIGHT?
Tasha: Right.
Data: YOU KNOW WHAT FIND HIM YOUR OWN DAMN SELF *storms off to quarters*
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Picard: Q's interested in Riker. His whole visit was about Riker. It's just a ploy to try and toy with my emotions. He'll come crawling back.
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CREEPY RIKER LAUGH YIKES
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LOL bitchy Riker. He does not like Q.
Riker: You want, no need something desperately from us. What is it?
Q: I...I need NOTHING!
Riker: I bet it's Picard.
Q: NO.
Riker: He loves Beverly.
Q: HE DOES NOT HE'S JUST CONFUSED
Riker: No, he wants to have like a million babies with her!
Q: NO! SHUT UP!
Riker: MILLIONS OF BEVERLY AND PICARD BABIES
all of them bald Riker you're just hoping for a million Wesleys to be produced. (Picard would kill himself if that happened, OMG.)
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Q is just lonely. I want to hug him.
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Riker will never be a Q. He'd be away from Ensign Jailbait.
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"I don't even like you!"
OH RIKER YOU HARSH
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OH FUCK WESLEY'S ON THE PLANET
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LOL pissed off Geordi.
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WOOOORF OMG SO BADASS I WANT TO DO BE YOU
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Also I thought Data was going to start kicking ass single-handedly but Worf is being a boss so I'm fine with this.
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WORF OMG DON'T DIE I WILL WEEP
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SHIT WESLEY GOT STABBED
Riker: WESLEY, NO! NO, DAMNIT! DAMNIT TO HELL!
Remember that part from the 1st Superman movie where Superman rages out and turns back time by reversing the Earth's orbit? I have a feeling that's what Riker is going to do. Also OH THE DELICIOUS DRAMA
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Cocky fucking Riker face after saving everyone. If he looked like that 24-7 I might find him attractive until he started talking.
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LOL Data's "We are so FUCKED" look at Riker.
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Wesley's going to get a splinter and Riker'll break his promise and use his powers to heal it and get in Wesley's pants.
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Data calmly showing off.
Data (to random medical chick): Wanna see what other muscles I got?
Medical Chick: Why don't we just focus on rescuing miners.
Data: Okay...
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Data you so hot.
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DATA WHAT A BOSS
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Oh Data. <3 Looks so heartbroken over the dead little girl.
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Data: Riker I may hate you but please. PLEASE bring this girl back to life or I will CRY, and SOB, and be just plain embarassing and emotional in general.
Riker: I can't. I promised Picard--
Data: FUCK him he's gonna die like next year!
Riker: I PROMISED, OK
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Picard: Crew, report.
Data: Riker's a HEARTLESS BASTARD who HATES KIDS. (to Wesley) HE HATES KIDS, WESLEY.
Wesley *runs out all upset*
Riker: THAT'S IT
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Wow, Riker, way to be even more arrogant.
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Data: Oh you're back, CHILD HATER.
Riker: DON'T JUDGE ME
Data: Oh I've judged you for MONTHS.
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LOL Picard's face when Riker calls him Jean-Luc.
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Wesley flirting his way into being part of the meeting. So shameless.
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LOL Data not giving a fuck at all.
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Jesus, Q, dramatic enough? LOL at his shit-eating grin.
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EXACTLY, Picard. I love his hate for Q and Wesley.
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Picard: He's just a flimflam man!
Q: You're a flimflam man!
Picard: Oh nice comeback. FLIMFLAM FLIMFLAM
Q: WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN I JUST WANT TO LOVE YOU
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LOL Worf. "...flimflam?"
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Picard: Yeah, sure, I gotta see what you give as gifts, Riker.
Data: Mine's gonna be smashed on the floor as soon as it appears, bitch, IDC.
Please let Riker give Picard a full head of hair. I will die.
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LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL OMG
Beverly *sensing Wesley's gift may be a pink dildo or something*: WESLEY YOU NEED TO GO
Wesley: MOM I WANT A GIFT
Riker: No, Wesley I may know best of all! Our long talks--
Beverly: I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE HIM ALONE DAMNIT
Poor Beverly. D:
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Wesley *turns into a man*
Riker: So not interested in you all of a sudden.
Geordi: Hey, not bad. What're you doin' later, Wes? 'Cause it should be me.
GEORDI IT'S BEEN LIKE 4 SECONDS SINCE WESLEY TRANSFORMED CALM DOWN. No need for a Riker replacement yet.
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LMFAO Data
Riker: So D--
Data *hella serious and pointing a finger at Riker*: NO. NO, sir.
Riker: But--
Data: I DON'T NEED YOUR FILTHY GIFTS, BITCH, I'M ABOVE THAT
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Data OMG. Quoting Shakespeare and owning Riker while Picard tries to hold back tears of pride. WHAT A BOSS.
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Geordi, damn. How YOU doin'?
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OMG OMG OMG Geordi hitting on Tasha NEW PAIRING <3
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Geordi: You're even more beautiful than I imagined.
Me: Don't cry, DON'T CRY. He's probably gonna choose to be blind.
Geordi: Make me the way I was.
Me:  
GEORDI YOU ARE BREAKING MY HEART
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Worf defending Tasha like a badass.
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LOL Geordi. "Is this your idea of sex? 'Cause if so I approve.
Worf: I KNOW RIGHT This is sex!
Geordi: Glad I'm blind again, then.
Tasha: So Fishnets, what you up to later?
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Rude, Picard.
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I'm still super upset. FUCKING GEORDI
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Credits rolling. Credits over. Still upset. Please let there be Tasha/Geordi fic. PLEASE.

So to sum up this episode:
Picard: I HATE YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF
Q: That's why I always do BAWWW
and
Geordi BREAKING MY HEART.
LinkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: fadsforwhatever
2010-10-13 09:33 pm (UTC)
YOU ARE MY FUCKING HERO A;SKLDJFAOIDSFUPADSF I DIIIIIED LAUGHING OH MY GOD
BEST PARTS:
Q *nodding while thinking*: My God, the play of light on his magnificent bare head is captivating.

Picard: DAMNIT I HATE THE FOREVER ALONE GAME

LOL Q hitting on Riker and Riker's just like, "Please focus, dude."

Tasha: Oh baby, if you weren't a Captain...
Picard *raises an intrigued eyebrow*
Cockblocking Q: Oh I see how it is! Is it because she has boobs and a baby maker? I COULD BE LIKE THAT TOO IF YOU WOULD JUST GIVE ME A CHANCE PICARD

OH GOD RIKER HAS Q POWERS GOODBYE EVERYONE'S VIRGINITY EVER

Riker will never be a Q. He'd be away from Ensign Jailbait.

Wesley's going to get a splinter and Riker'll break his promise and use his powers to heal it and get in Wesley's pants.

Riker: I can't. I promised Picard--
Data: FUCK him he's gonna die like next year!

Beverly *sensing Wesley's gift may be a pink dildo or something*: WESLEY YOU NEED TO GO

Wesley *turns into a man*
Riker: So not interested in you all of a sudden.
Geordi: Hey, not bad. What're you doin' later, Wes? 'Cause it should be me.
GEORDI IT'S BEEN LIKE 4 SECONDS SINCE WESLEY TRANSFORMED CALM DOWN. No need for a Riker replacement yet.

LOL Geordi. "Is this your idea of sex? 'Cause if so I approve.
Worf: I KNOW RIGHT This is sex!
Geordi: Glad I'm blind again, then.
Tasha: So Fishnets, what you up to later?

JUST
FUCKING
DIED
HOW ARE YOU EVEN A REAL PERSON
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: j_l_bate
2010-10-13 09:45 pm (UTC)
IDK. I may actually be part Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, but I'm not sure if that has anything to do with it.

The part with Wesley and Riker where he was like, "LONG TALKS AND WALKS ON THE HOLODECK BEACH AND THOSE HARD NIGHTS" I felt so BAD for Beverly. D:
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: fadsforwhatever
2010-10-13 09:49 pm (UTC)
I KNOW SHE'S LIKE "WHOA WHOA WHOA WAIT A MINUTE, WHAT"
BEV, IF ONLY YOU KNEW~

ALSKDJFASPOID I REALLY REALLY WANT TO SHOW YOUR RETELLINGS TO THE WORLD. CAN I LINK TO THEM FROM MY TUMBLR? OR ARE THESE A MORE ~PRIVATE~ KIND OF THING?
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: j_l_bate
2010-10-13 09:51 pm (UTC)
BY ALL MEANS I WOULD BE MORE HONORED THAN WORF AND YOU KNOW HOW KLINGONS ARE ABOUT HONOR

I made these public so anyone could see them. :3
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: fadsforwhatever
2010-10-13 09:53 pm (UTC)
WORF/HONOR = CANON

WOOHOO, I NEED TO SHARE YOUR LULZY LULZ WITH THE WORLD :'D

ps loving the neopets icon~
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: phantomdancer
2010-10-13 10:47 pm (UTC)
I cant breathe, my sides hurt.
I love you...

roflmao,,,
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: new_evolution
2010-10-14 12:34 am (UTC)
Please let there be Tasha/Geordi fic. PLEASE.

I would read the hell out of some Data/Tasha/Geordi, not gonna lie.
(Reply) (Thread)