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Season 1, Episode 5. - Jacky. [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Call me something. If I like it, I'll keep it.

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Season 1, Episode 5. [Oct. 6th, 2010|11:44 am]
Call me something. If I like it, I'll keep it.
[Current Mood |crazycrazy]



Riker: I don't trust those specs! They're jibberish!
Picard: Really. What did you not understand?
Riker *not wanting to admit he didn't understand any of it*: Mr. Data, would you explain?
--------------------
Riker cutting Data out of the conversation. RUDE
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Picard: You bitched so much about it, YOU get to check it out.
Riker: FINE
Riker's secret plan is complete. Now he can scope the other ship's crew for potential bedmates.
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Riker: This is Lieutenant Commander Argyle.
Snooty Engine Inspector: That's a type of SWEATER.
Wesley: Someone say sweater?
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God this guy is a tool.
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TROI SHUT THE FUCK UP
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Snooty Engine Inspector: Why is this child here? *eyes linger a little too long on Wesley*
Riker: Oh HELL no! You get off this ship RIGHT NOW! 
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Wesley, are you going for World's Biggest Mama's Boy with these sweaters or what?
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Snooty Engine Inspector's Sidekick, what are you doing lurking over Wesley like that? Riker will kill you, dude. And Wesley will be oblivious to everything.
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LOL verbal catfight between Riker and Snooty Engine Inspector. SO BITCHY <3
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Riker *completely ignoring Snooty Engine Inspector's explanation and watching Wesley help Sidekick*: WESLEY GET AWAY FROM HIM
Wesley *continues to help Sidekick*
Riker *voice cracking*: WESLEY
Wesley *smiles at Sidekick after fixing screen*
Riker *in a whisper as tears of pain streak down his face*: Wesley...
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OK, Sidekick, you are like EYEFUCKING Wesley. Leave him alone already.
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OH SHIT SNOOTY ENGINE INSPECTOR JUST PUSHED RIKER OUT OF THE WAY
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Snooty Engine Inspector you are cruisin' for a bruisin'.
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LOL at Sidekick fucking things up because he looked away from the screen to make eyes at Wesley.
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WESLEY NO DON'T GET THAT "I'M GONNA SAVE THE DAY" LOOK
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LOL SNOOTY ENGINE INSPECTOR'S "I AM SO FUCKED" FACE
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Geordi: I calculate it would take 300 years for us to get home.
Data: Great, Picard will be the only one alive by then.
--------------------
LOL Riker's pissy ass "THINK YOU'RE SO SMART WITH YOUR JIBBERISH TECHNICAL JARGON" face as Snooty Engine Inspector is talking to Picard.
Picard: What is he saying, Number One?
Riker: Sir, you're asking me?
--------------------
SIDEKICK YOU ARE SO LUCKY RIKER'S ON THE BRIDGE YOU ARE SERIOUSLY HITTING ON WESLEY LIKE WHOA
--------------------
Everyone on the bridge it like GET THIS PRICK OUTTA HERE as Snooty Engine Inspector talks.
--------------------
*Long ass awkward moment of silence after Snooty Engine Inspector leaves*
Picard: Comment is welcome.
Riker: What a DOUCHE.
Tasha: OMG SERIOUSLY
Everyone *starts complaining loudly about how much they hate Snooty Engine Inspector*
Snooty Engine Inspector *ear pressed to door with tears sliding down face*
--------------------
Data you sexy. <3
--------------------
STFU SNOOTY ENGINE INSPECTOR
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Wesley: Sir, I don't think Snooty Engine Inspector--
Riker *all ice queen, not even looking at Wesley*: NOT NOW, WES.
Wes: But--
Riker: JUST GO HANG YOU WITH THAT HALF-BALD FREAK YOU'RE SO IN LOVE WITH
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RIKER WESLEY IS GOING TO CRY HIMSELF TO SLEEP AGAIN THANKS TO YOU
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Riker: Now you're helping him into his seat! YOU NEVER HELP ME INTO MY SEAT!
Wesley: He's weak!
Riker: Oh sure, I've heard THAT one before!
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LOL Riker's "WTF" face as he sees Sidekick flickering. Wesley keeps looking around like, "This is cool but also scary and I hope someone does something soon."
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UH OH BLUR
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Ice bubbles going through the air or something. WHAT.
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THE FUCK. THERE IS A UNICORN PIG ON THE BRIDGE.
Worf *runs over and pets it*: OMG MY BABY
Tasha: Are you telling me that's a kitty cat?
Worf: I SAID IT WAS A TARG YOU IGNORANT SLUT
--------------------
I'm going to be sad when Tasha dies because I sort of want her to be friends with Worf. Like a lot.
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WORF'S FACE WHEN THE UNIPIG VANISHES. YOU CAN SEE THE TRAGEDY IN HIS EYES
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OK, it's like raining animals or something now.
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OH FUCK PICARD ALMOST DIED. He just ruined another adult diaper.
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Tasha is tripping balls now. This is not going to be a good day.
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Tasha (to Geordi): I was being chased by a rape gang.
Data: Honey, seriously, you need a new pick-up line.
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WHAT IS GOING ON
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Picard just shattered that Ensign's dreams of becoming a ballerina just because he can't dance and was jeaous. Also apparently someone put acid into the air supply. Or possibly shrooms. OH MAN I HOPE DATA HALLUCIANTES
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OK, this is a really creepy episode. Picard's mom is Queen Lurk.
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Riker *comes across Picard squatting in the hallway*: Uh, sir, there's a bathroom right over there.
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Riker: Can I help you, sir?
NOT THE TIME TO BE HITTING ON THE CAPTAIN, RIKER
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Picard: What we think becomes a reality.
Geordi *look over at Data nervously*
Data *look back smiling creepily*
Geordi, Tasha, and Riker *suddenly stuck in giant Chinese finger traps*
Data: BEST DAY EVER
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If Riker wasn't part of the crew, Wesley would have been kicked off during the pilot. PICARD Y U GOTTA HATE
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Also, AWW, Riker defending Wesley.
Riker: BUT IT DOESN'T MEAN I LIKE YOU
Wesley: I don't think anyone was thinking that, sir.
Riker: GOOD 'CAUSE I DON'T
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 Picard: He can't die! How will we get back?
*awkward pause as the shallowness echoes through the room*
Picard: I mean, uh, we'll miss him and it would be sad.
Crew members: *mutter* dick *mumble* heartless
--------------------
LOL Riker's eyes flicking to Wesley as he walks in. HE JUST CAN'T HELP HIMSELF
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Wesley: Mom, is he gonna be ok?
Riker (muttering): Why do you care?
Picard: UGH what's the BOY doing here?
(Picard ILU)
Wesley: Mom, he's my FRIEND!
Riker: JUST MARRY HIM ALREADY *runs out sobbing*
--------------------
Riker: he seems to have developed some sort of special attachment to the boy. WESLEY HOW COULD YOU I THOUGHT WHAT WE HAD WAS REAL
Wesley: Wait, are you a pedophile?
--------------------
Wesley: My name is Wesley, Commander Riker.
Riker: YOU'RE DEAD TO ME BOY
Picard: We KNOW what you name is, we just hate you so we don't use it.
Wesley: FOREVER ALONE *runs back to angst in his Mom's quarters*
--------------------
Wesley *all earnest and bright-eyed*: He isn't, Captain, I know he isn't!
Beverly *does the most HILARIOUS " Shut UP, Wesley!" face*
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PICARD WATCH OUT SNOOTY ENGINE INSPECTOR IS LURKING UP BEHIND YOU
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Sidekick seems more like he's high than dying. What he's saying isn't helping me change my mind.
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YEAH PICARD YOU TELL SNOOTY ENGINE INSPECTOR TO STFU
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Picard: Riker, put Sidekick in Engineering.
Riker *planning to make the trip as violent and unpleasant as possible*: Sure.
Wesley: NO I LOVE HIM he's weak!
Riker: WESLEY GODDAMNIT YOU'RE BREAKING MY HEART HERE
--------------------
There is a serious lack of Data in this episode. I am displeased. 
--------------------
Sidekick: I actually wanted to talk to you about Wesley.
Picard *big vein pulsing on his forehead*: FUCK THAT BOY
Worst day ever for Picard.
-------------------- 
Sidekick: Wesley's unique. You know child geniuses, like Mozart?
Picard: I swear to God if you say Wesley is a genius I'll kill you with my bare hands.
Sidekick: Uh...wellheis.
Picard: FFFFFUUUU--
--------------------
Wesley go away. HAVEN'T YOU DONE ENOUGH
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OH LOL ANOTHER GUY IN A DRESS
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Riker staring at Wesley but Wesley only has eyes for Sidekick. Worst day ever for Riker, too.
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UGH SIDEKICK'S HANDS FUCK NO
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TROI BE QUIET
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Wesley *grabs Sidekick's hand for support*
Riker *slowly crushing his badge in his fist*
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Sidekick *disappears*
Wesley *stands up all distressed*
Riker *wraps arms around Wesley*: NOW I'M ALL YOU GOT
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Picard: Wherever he is, we wish him well.
Riker: I HOPE HE DIED
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LOL at Picard continuing to call Wesley the BOY.
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OH WESLEY <3
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OH GOD Riker's face when Picard makes Wesley an Ensign.
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Wesley's "outstanding performance" in Engineering? Are you kidding me? All he did was stand there and grab Sidekick's hand once! I'd better be like a Lieutenant or something
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Picard: Riker, make a duty schedule for Mr. Crusher. HEAVY on study.
Riker (in every box): ANATOMY
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Wesley, OH you are adorable.
--------------------
Shit, Wesley's an Ensign now.
Wesley *sitting in Geordi's spot*: Hey Data, remember that time I sat in your seat?
Data *calmly leans over without looking and tears Wesley's sweater in two, then leans back*
Data: Yes. 


LinkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: fadsforwhatever
2010-10-06 07:43 pm (UTC)
OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH
CAN I JUST
MARRY YOU
OR SOMETHING

I LAUGHED HYSTERICALLY THE ENTIRE TIME OH MY GOD
THANK GOD MY ROOMMATE WASN'T HERE
BECAUSE OH LORD I COULDN'T BREATHE
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: j_l_bate
2010-10-06 08:13 pm (UTC)

SOUNDS GOOD

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

I aim to please LIKE RIKER!

So glad you liked it, as I was watching the episode I was like, "Oh man fuckyeahtng must have loved the Riker/Wesley drama."
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: phantomdancer
2010-10-06 11:05 pm (UTC)
In addition to the incredibly ridiculous sweaters, Wheaton had to wear a "muscle suit" underneath to give him some semblance of a body.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: j_l_bate
2010-10-07 09:00 pm (UTC)
He looks even weirder in that ugly gray Ensign suit.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: new_evolution
2010-10-08 09:06 am (UTC)
Trufax: the first time I saw this episode, when the cat showed up, I was like, "OMG IT'S SPOT! Is this how Data got his kitty?" But alas, it was not to be.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: j_l_bate
2010-10-08 04:49 pm (UTC)
You're right, it DID look just like Spot! :D
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)